a.n. This is unlike anything I’ve ever written before, just so you know. It revolves around something Esposito said in episode 1×01, and an obsession I still maintain to this day with The Princess Bride.
This is from Javier Esposito’s POV. Definitely OOC.
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.
I hate Richard Castle. No, really bro, I hate him. With a fucking passion. And I have since I first met him. Deep down I know I’m being irrational or whatever they’d call it, but I don’t care. I really don’t. I hate him and I always will.
It all started when the jackass came into my precinct and started to moon all over my partner, Kate Beckett. I could tell that she was torn between being flattered or annoyed. I can read her really well, I always have been able to. But Beckett is a strong girl, I knew she could resist the charms of Castle, who everyone knew was a playboy jackass. I had always had a problem with men like him. They reminded me too much of my own father.
When he started to shadow Beckett, I knew it was only a matter of time before she shot him. Her hesitation on how she first felt when she had brought him in for questioning was gone, and her annoyance showed on her face. For months she constantly derided Castle, and I hate to say it, but he took every punch she threw at him, no matter how cruel she sometimes was. I think that surprised her as well.
Something happened a few months after he ‘joined’ our team. Kate booted him from the precinct, and would tell no one what he had done. I didn’t care. I was glad that he was gone.
Okay, so maybe I had seen Kate smile more in those few months than I had since she and I became partners. Maybe she did seem to want to actually have a life, something that I had teased her about mercilessly for years. Maybe that was all because of Richard Castle. I wasn’t jealous. Not at all. Javier Esposito doesn’t get jealous, bro, it just doesn’t happen.
She let him back on the team and they grew closer. She no longer seemed so annoyed with his childish antics, but seemed to indulge them, like they meant something to her. My hatred for Castle grew and grew.
The reason? I love Kate Beckett. I have since the moment I met her. It’s dumb of course. She has never seen me that way, at all. I’m her brother, not her lover. I hate that its true, but it is. She doesn’t love me. I admit that I dropped several hints before Castle came along. I’d try to get her to go for drinks with me, but the girl is just oblivious or perhaps she was just being polite. I’d say stupid things like “As you wish”, hoping that she would get the reference.
I could see it as Kate slowly started to fall for Richard Castle. I hated it. I hated him. But I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy.
So, when I saw her pushing Castle away unexpectedly, and falling into the arms of Detective Tom Demming, I knew I had to do something. Maybe I shouldn’t have meddled given how it turned out. But I did, and I will have to live with it forever.
She broke up with Tom after I talked to her about Castle, and I watched as she and Castle talked. I watched as the devastation rolled over her features as the ass walked away with his bimbo of an ex-wife. I have never, not once ever, been so close to murdering someone than I was at that moment. If Richard Castle had come anywhere near me that day, I would have put a bullet between his eyes and would not have felt a bit of remorse.
No one hurts her.
It took all my will power to not murder him when he came back. He looked smug. The jackass. It was like he was rubbing his relationship with his ex-wife in Kate’s face. God, I hate him so much.
That year was hard for everyone. She almost died so many times, and despite everything, Castle was right there by her side. He broke up with Gina, but she had found herself a doctor to date, so I didn’t really get why Castle stuck around. I’ll give this to the man, when he’s on the hunt for a conquest, he doesn’t give up easy.
It wasn’t until she was shot that I discovered something so horrendous that I almost lost my mind. Richard Castle loved her. He loved her. He loved her.
What the hell?
The next three years have been torture for me. I watched as they got closer after her shooting. It pained me to know that he was the one there for her, and not me. Oh, I helped, but I could only do so much. Cops aren’t really the touchy-feely types, ya’ know? It did make me feel good that Castle came to me when I couldn’t help her during that sniper case.
But the worst part of that fourth year was when Castle was stuck in that bank. It was then that I realized that not only did Richard Castle love Kate Beckett, but she loved him back. It was like a Ka-Bar right to the chest.
I tried to move on. I liked Lanie a lot. In fact, you might say, she was more my type than Kate ever was. Kate and I don’t make sense, I know that. I’ve always known it wasn’t meant to be. But even my attempts to move on have been for naught. I don’t even think it’s my feelings for Beckett that were my problem. I just don’t have it in me for a real relationship.
I was glad when they got together at the end of that year. I knew that even if she had returned my feelings, I wouldn’t have been any better for her than Castle. It was just the sad truth. Didn’t mean I hated him any less.
I watched as they got closer. It almost ended when Kate took a job with the feds, but it didn’t. Instead, they got engaged, and my heart died just a little more. Who knew I was such a frinkin’ pansy?
It almost ended when he disappeared on their wedding day. When we discovered that he’d had something to do with his own disappearance, I was sure she’d finally see him for who he really was. But she didn’t, she believed in him. It was around this time that I truly started to show my dislike for the man. I didn’t care anymore. He had hurt her beyond all measure, and that was unforgivable. I’d given him my blessing (even if it was only in my head), and he’d treated her so badly? Asshole.
They got married, and truthfully, I’m glad they did it privately. I don’t know if I could have sat through it without saying something.
They’ve been married for years now. I don’t spend much time with either of them anymore. Kate is now a Captain, and is likely to move up the ranks even further, and I’ve moved back to the ESU. Their little girl is beautiful, just like her mother.
I still hate Richard Castle. I always will. But, and this is a big but, he does make her happy. Despite all the pain he’s caused her, I guess I’ll just have to settle for that.
I’ll always love Kate Beckett. I will.
a.n.2. Don’t really know why this came out of me. I’m pretty sure it sucks.
I don’t like Esposito. I never have. I think it’s because of the way he treats Castle. Castle helped save his and Ryan’s life a few times but that didn’t matter to Espo. When he had to return the favor in s7, he asked for the Ferrari in return. Who does that? And the way he treated Castle all season 7 was terrible.
So, I thought about why he might be so protective of Kate, and so rude to Castle for most of the series. And then I wrote this. He does say “As you wish” in the first episode. It’s a blatant Princess Bride reference. It’s almost like the writers put that there as a “just in case” type thing. I’m glad the series didn’t go that route.
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