Doggie Gone Bad

Pairing: Harry Potter/Hermione Granger/Padma Patil

Tags: mentions of smut, swearing and language, 1000 word challenge, Threesome Thursdays

Summary: Harry has two beautiful wives, and he’s going to get really lucky tonight. Well. Maybe. if the damn dog will let him. Sequel to Why Harry Should Never Get Drunk With Draco.


Harry Potter was a very lucky man. He had a job he loved, a nice little home, and best of all, two wonderful wives. Ah, his wives. Harry loved them both so very much. It wasn’t something that he had thought much about when he was at Hogwarts. After all, having grown up in the muggle world, he had very little experience with plural marriages.

But it worked. He and Hermione had been married for almost six years now, and she was still his very best friend. He and Hermione had married Padma three years into their marriage after the young woman had come to them asking for a way to get out of a terrible marriage contract that her father had been trying to force her into at the time.

Now, three and a half years later, Harry was the happiest man alive. Sure, having to navigate having two women in his life was a challenge sometimes, but it was all worth it. Of course, there was one part of his life that wasn’t so great.

The damn dog.

Oh, Harry was just as infatuated with Professor Wagglesworth as his wives were, but the dog had the most terrible timing in the world. Right now, for instance.

On the second level of their home, right now, Harry’s wives were in bed, naked as the day they were born, no doubt doing all sorts of sinful things to each other. Harry could just imagine it in his mind, having seen it many times since they had become a triad.

Most of the time, Harry would be right there, participating or watching. Padma had this little spot on the back of her neck that would just drive her crazy if he grazed his teeth over it. Hermione had a bit of a foot fetish, and Harry enjoyed playing with her feet while Padma drove their bookish wife crazy in other ways.

But none of that was happening now. Padma and Hermione were upstairs having a good time and Harry was downstairs checking on the damn dog because, despite his name, Professor Wagglesworth was an idiot and loved to chew on things that definitely shouldn’t be chewed on. This time it was Hermione’s copy of Hogwarts: A History. By the time Harry, fully nude, got downstairs and removed the book from the mutt’s maw, over a dozen pages had been ripped out and many more than that had suffered slobber damage.

“Oh, you’re in for it now. Hermione’s going to kill us both. You for defiling her favorite book and me for bringing your mangy arse here in the first place. No way I’m going to be able to blame Draco for this. Of course, the puppy he brought home the same night is a little angel. Couldn’t that have been us? Noooooo. We managed to get Voldemort’s spawn.”

Harry took the book and sat it on the dining room table and the gave the dog a look. “Now, what to do with you?”

Deciding that he definitely didn’t want to spend too much time away from his wives, he pulled the dog up the stairs and put him in one of their spare rooms. There wasn’t anything in there other than a bed they didn’t use and some spare pillows.

“Now, behave. I’ve got much better things to do than babysit you.” The dog gave him an inscrutable look, but the little bastard was definitely grinning at him.

With a scowl, Harry closed the door to the bedroom and walked back to the master bedroom. He found his wives tangled in an embrace kissing each other passionately. With a grin, he made his way to the bed, all thoughts of the dog gone from his mind.

And then he heard a huge bang. BANG!!

Hermione and Padma jumped apart and looked at each other then at him. “What was that?” Hermione asked.

Harry sighed. “The damn dog.”

“I thought you were taking care of that? What was he doing anyways?”

“Uh…er…eatingyourHogwartsAHistorybook,” Harry blurted out, looking down at his feet.

Hermione’s eyes narrowed. “He ate what, now?”

“Your copy of Hogwarts A History,” Harry said, holding his breath.

He caught Padma’s eyes, which just caused the Indian witch to smirk at him. He narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. Padma always liked it a little too much when he was in trouble.


Harry decided that he could wait to be punished by his wife a little later. It was time to see what the damn dog was doing again. When Harry exited the master bedroom he skid to a stop, his mouth open in shock. The door that had been keeping the pooch in the guest bedroom was shaking on its hinges and looked to be close to destruction. Wagglesworth apparently was hitting the door after a running leap. Harry slowly walked forward and grasped the door handle. He could sense his wives huddling in the doorway to their bedroom, both seemingly amused at their puppy’s antics.

Harry was not amused. He couldn’t believe that he was being cockblocked by a damn dog. He wrenched the door open, which only caused the leaping dog to hit him right in the center of the chest. Wigglesworth dashed off of Harry, who had landed painfully on his arse, and bounced down the stairs where the three adults soon heard another crash.

Harry could see his wive’s making their way down the stairs, both interested in seeing what the dog was doing once more. Harry, still on his backside, just lay there staring at the ceiling.

When his wives came back upstairs, both were dressed in robes and Padma was holding the puppy to her chest. “Oh get up, you big baby,” she said. “You didn’t fall that hard.”

Harry groaned as he got up and then threw the dog a disgruntled look. “What was he into now?”

“He tipped over the bin where we kept the kibble. Turns out he was just hungry.”

Harry groaned and slapped his palm against his forehead. The damn dog was hungry, so to tell them he had decided to eat a book and destroy one of their bedroom doors.

“Fine. Can we go back to bed? Maybe we can put the little monster back in the guestroom.?”

Padma just giggled and made her way into the master bedroom. Hermione came up to him and put her hand on his chest. “He can sleep with us. After all, the mood is quite gone now, don’t you think?”

Hermione grinned at him, kissed him on the cheek, and then followed their wife back into the bedroom. Harry just groaned in disappointment. He was going to have to have some serious discussions with that damn dog. This was the absolute limit.

Notify of