You Are The Miracle in Me

Title: You are the Miracle in Me

Pairing: Harry Potter/Hermione Granger

Summary: She was always his light, his reason for being. #SongFic based on Shinedown’s Miracle.

Warnings: Small bit of Weasley Bashing

Word Count: 3,600

Rating: T

Author’s Note: I know this ends abruptly. But it got way out of hand, and it needed to end before it ended up as 10 chapters instead of one.

-:::-

-:::-

Say it once

Tell me twice

Are you certain I’m alright

Just a sign

To remind me

Tomorrows worth the fight

Ever changing

The storyline that keeps me alive

So make a wish and say

Give me life

Give me love

Starlit angel from above

Not so low

Not so high

Keep it perfectly disguised

Ever changing

The storyline that keeps me alive

-:::-

Harry Potter watched as Voldemort’s body crashed to the ground, finally beaten for the last time. He’d done it. He’d beaten Voldemort. It had taken far too long and had cost far too much, but it was done. The world could live in peace, and he could move on. Finally.

Harry stood there staring at the fallen body of his foe as the fighters in the Great Hall erupted into celebrations. The remaining Death Eaters were all on the ground, most of them dead, the rest were dying. Harry ignored it all as he stared at the monster that had taken so much from him.

His parents. His childhood.

Cedric, his friend.

Sirius, his godfather.

Remus. Tonks. Fred.

So many others.

Voldemort was dead, but Harry couldn’t see how any of it was worth it. He finally tore his eyes away from the body of his enemy and looked around the Great Hall. Dozens of people were shouting and crying and whooping in celebration. Harry knew he had to leave. He had to get out of the Great Hall and get away from the happy people who were celebrating the Light’s victory. He couldn’t celebrate. He wouldn’t.

Before he could make his move, he was grabbed from behind and twirled around. The arms that engulfed him were so familiar that he immediately relaxed. Hermione. Harry buried his head in her neck and breathed in deeply. Her scent was so familiar. She had always smelled so good to him. This time her usual scent was covered by the smell of dust and blood and death. It was that that finally made him lose and he started to sob into her shoulder, not caring about the people around him.

They’d made it. She’d made it. They were alive and together, and that was all that mattered. He could feel her shaking as well, and he knew she was crying. It only made him hold her more tightly. All he wanted to do was to hold her and never let go.

It was then he felt another pair of arms go around him. Ron. Harry remembered, then, the kiss he had witnessed between his two best friends. Pain like no other shot through him, but he masked it by forcing a smile onto his face.

He continued to smile as he watched Ron place a possessive arm around Hermione’s waist.

“Mate, you did a good job!” Ron exclaimed. “You did it!”

Harry smile softened a bit, “No, Ron. We did it.”

Harry took another step back then said, “I need to get some fresh air. You guys should go back and check on the rest of the Weasleys.”

With that, he turned around and started wading his way through the mass of people who were waiting to congratulate him. The smile fell off his face, but the tears remained. He’d lost more than he thought he had. He ignored her voice calling out for him, and just kept walking ahead. He couldn’t bear to see her in his arms. Not when he knew for sure now that she was the one he wanted forever.

Harry made his way out of the castle and into the wrecked courtyard. Debris littered the grass and the water in the fountain was dirty with dirt and blood. He bypassed the fountain and made his way out of the courtyard and towards the Black Lake. He spotted several centaurs galloping along the edges of the Forbidden Forest and he noticed that the mermen were still active along the surface of the lake. Luckily the giants that Voldemort had brought with him had disappeared, though Harry expected that whatever was left of the ministry would eventually have to track them down. Grawp was sitting on the ground outside of Hagrid’s hut, which had miraculously come through the battle completely unharmed. Fang sat next to the small giant, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Harry quickly bypassed the giant, not wanting to have to get involved in a conversation, and continued to make his way around the lake.

When he reached the spot where he had conjured his first Patronus back in third year, he sat down heavily on one of the rocks and looked across the late at the castle that he’d called home since he was eleven years old. Harry knew that it’d never be his home again. He couldn’t see himself coming back for another year of schooling, not when just looking at the castle made him think of all the death that had taken place inside its walls.

Harry didn’t know how long he sat there looking at Hogwarts, thinking, but it must have been several hours. His thoughts ran around him in circles. He thought about the war and those who had died. He thought about Teddy, his young godson who was now without both of his parents. Harry thought about his future. A future without Hermione at his side.

Harry hadn’t always felt this type of love towards Hermione Granger. In fact, if you had asked him at any point prior to his sixth year at Hogwarts, he would have told you that he thought of her like a sister. But during that year, he started seeing her differently. He didn’t act on his newfound feelings as he knew she liked Ron and that Ron liked her. Instead, Harry had buried his feelings and had attempted to move on with Ginny, but that had not worked. Despite what he’d told everyone else, the reason he broke up with the youngest Weasley was that the two of them were just not compatible at all.

When Ron had abandoned Harry and Hermione in the tent, Harry had thought that perhaps he had a chance to show Hermione that he cared about her more than as just a friend. That was why he had taken her hand and had made a fool of himself by dancing in the middle of the tent. But he’d chickened out, and had let her go back to her moping. Then Ron had returned and Harry had to lie about his feelings. What else was he going to do? Ron had a bloody sword in his hand and had the only wand between the two of them. There was no way Harry was going to put up with Weasley’s temper when he didn’t have some form of protection. He could very well remember the violent rage in the red head’s eyes right before he’s stalked out of the tent.

Harry sighed. It didn’t matter. As long as Hermione was happy, that was what matted. He was brought out of his brooding thoughts by the sound of someone calling his name from behind him.

“Harry! There you are.”

Harry didn’t look around but just sat there.

“Harry?”

“What can I do for you, Hermione?”’

“I…I was just wondering if you were okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me, Harry James!”

Harry smiled. She only called him Harry James when she was really cross. She’d never know, but he thought she was really, really cute when she turned cross.

“Okay, I’m not fine, but I’m okay.”

“Why did you leave so quickly in there?”

Harry didn’t answer, he just continued to stare at the castle.

“Harry, I know something else is wrong. It’s not just the battle, so why don’t you tell me?”

Harry sighed. “Do you love him,” he asked softly.

“Who?” Hermione asked, bewildered.

“Ron.”

Hermione blushed. “I-I don’t know. I mean we only just got together.”

“So you are together?” Harry asked. He couldn’t quite hide the sadness in his voice. He hoped that Hermione wouldn’t notice.

“I-I think so. I mean we kissed, but with everything that happened, we haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”

“Oh.”

“Harry, what’s this all about? Why are you sounding so upset that Ron…wait? Why are you upset that Ron and I might be together?”

Harry didn’t answer. There was no way he was going to tell her any more than his questions already had. He heard Hermione growl before she got up and positioned herself in front of him, obscuring his view of the ancient castle.

“Harry. What’s going on? Why are you being like this? It’s not as if you have romantic feelings for me or anything silly like that. So what is it?”

Harry blushed and looked down, hiding his reaction as best he could. It hurt more than anything else in the world to know that she thought of his feelings were ‘silly.’

“Oh. My. God. You do don’t you? Harry…”

Harry stood up suddenly. “It’s okay, Hermione. Don’t worry about me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I should go get cleaned up and maybe get some rest. I’ll see you later.” He quickly spun around and started in the direction of the castle. He didn’t make it far before he felt a spell hit him in the back, causing him to go stiff as a board, which in turn caused him to fall flat on his face.

“Harry James Potter, don’t you dare walk away from me,” Hermione’s voice said shrilly from somewhere behind him. He felt the spell lift, but before he could move, he felt Hermione’s foot on his side, pushing him over.

“Now, you can either come back over to this rock and tell me what the hell is going on with you, or I’ll hex you so hard you won’t be able to remember your own name.

“So which is it?”

Slowly, Harry got to his feet, walked over to the stone he had just left and sat down. He buried his head in his hands and cursed himself for even starting this conversation.

“Look, Hermione,” Harry said, without looking up. “It’s been a long day. Can’t we just forget this and get some rest?”

“No. I want to know what’s going on. I’m tired too and would love to sleep. So, the sooner you spill, the sooner I get to do that. So go on.”

Harry shook his head, which caused Hermione to sigh.

“Harry. Do you have romantic feelings for me? Is that why you’re acting this way?”

Silence.

“Harry?”

Harry looked up and scowled at her. He didn’t want to be pushed on this. He just wanted to be alone so he could lick his wounds and move on.

“Harry?” Hermione repeated again. “Tell me.”

“Dammit, Hermione, can’t you just leave it alone?” Harry exploded.  “It’s bad enough that you had to choose Ronald Weasley of all people, but then to rub it in my face? Look, I know you don’t feel the same way about me, I’m fine with that. I’ll get over it. It isn’t as if I made my feelings for you clear. I’ll get over it. For now, I just want to be left alone.”

“B-but…you could have any girl? And what about Ginny?”

Harry sighed and sat back down, not even having realized that he had stood up when he had snapped at her. “Ginny was a distraction. You were gone on Ron and you and I weren’t really getting on that well last year, so I gave in and dated her for a few weeks. But we’re not really compatible.

“As for why you?” Harry looked her in the eyes and said, “It’s always been you for me, Hermione. You’ve given me strength when I needed it most. You’re the only reason I even fought this war. Without you, I’d have either died long ago or ran as far away as possible. I fought for you and won because of you. There were days where the only reason I got out of bed was so that I could see you. See you smile; see you study and chew your lip because you’re reading something so cool. Watch as your hair changes throughout the day due to your mood.”

He looked away briefly and said, “You know, before I came out here, I overheard someone saying that my victory was a miracle.” Harry looked back at her then, noticing the tears running down her cheeks. “You’ve always been the miracle in me, Hermione. I love you.”

With that, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, smiled at her sadly, then stood and walked away. This time he knew Hermione wouldn’t chase after him. That was okay.

-:::-

Take another look

Take a look around

It’s you and me

Its here and now

As you sparkle in the sky

I’ll catch you while I can

‘Cause all we are

Is all I am

I just want you to see

What I’ve always believed

You are

The miracle in me

-:::-

The next few weeks were very hard on Harry. If asked, Harry would be hard pressed to decide which had been worse: the constant funerals that he’d been going to or the fact that Hermione was avoiding him. Not that he could blame her. He should not have said the things he did. He should have been stronger and kept his feelings to himself. It would have been better because Harry knew that he hurt her with the things he said. She was such a good person. She didn’t deserve to feel the burden of his feelings, unrequited as they are.

The funerals were hard. Harry tried to make sure that he was as supportive as possible for those left behind. The two that stood out the most were the Weasleys and Andromeda Tonks. The Weasleys were always a loud bunch. With the death of Fred, that loudness seemed to have gone, and Harry didn’t know what to do to make it better. With Andromeda Tonks, it was somehow worse, because she had been left the duty of raising her grandson. The poor woman had lost everything but was standing strong for her daughter’s child.

Harry had spent a lot of time helping Andy, as she had told him to call her. That’s where he was six weeks after the battle when his life changed forever.

“You’re doing really well, Harry” Andromeda said softly as she watched him finish changing Teddy’s nappy.

Harry looked back at her after putting the dirty nappy in the proper bin. “It’s actually easier than I thought it’d be. I was so afraid that I was going to hurt him the first time, it kind of freaked me out.”

Andy smiled. “You’re going to make a wonderful father someday.”

Harry blushed and looked away. It was something he hoped for, but he didn’t know how it was going to happen.

Andy started to speak again but she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. “Now who could that be?”

Harry followed behind her after putting Teddy in his cot. He stepped into the kitchen and started to make tea. He heard Andy exclaim softly and open the door to greet whoever was on the other side.

“Miss Granger, what a pleasant surprise!” Harry paled.

“Hello, Mrs. Tonks. I was wondering if Harry’s here. I’ve been looking for him, but he’s not at Grimmauld Place.”

“He’s here. He’s been helping me take care of Teddy.”

“Oh, that’s great. How is the little guy?”

“He’s doing well. He’s too small, really, to know much about what has happened. Harry’s been a great help, though. Come on in. Harry was just putting Teddy down for a nap after changing the little tyke’s nappie. The two of you can talk in the living room.”

“Thank you.”

Harry washed his hands after setting water to boil. He felt Andy walk into the kitchen. “Harry,” she said softly, “your friend Hermione is here. I took her to the living room.”

She came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Talk to her Harry. I know she hurt you. Maybe you can still be friends. You need your friends.”

Harry nodded then rubbed his hands on his pants to give them a dry. “You’ll finish this?”

“Sure.”

Harry sighed then walked through the house and into the living room. He paused at the doorway and studied Hermione, who was glancing through the small bookshelf that Andy had along the far wall. Harry had to smile. The girl just could not resist books no matter what.

“Hey,” he said in greeting as he walked further into the room and sat down on the sofa.

“Harry,” Hermione exclaimed, startled. “I didn’t see you there.” She came around the sofa and sat down in a chair facing him. “How are you?”

Harry nodded. “I’m fine. Doing better. How are you? How are the Weasleys?”

“I’m okay. I’m getting ready to go to Australia to see if I can restore my parent’s memories. I…I’m not sure how the Weasleys are. I’ve only seen Ginny once since Fred’s funeral.”

“What about Ron?” Harry asked, giving Hermione an odd look.

“I haven’t talked to that git much in the last few weeks, and not at all since the funeral.”

“What? Why?”

“Harry.”

“Sorry. I was just surprised. I figured you two would be spending a lot of time together.”

Hermione sighed. “After what you told me, you thought I’d go back running to Ron? No. I told him we wouldn’t work out. It turns out that we have absolutely nothing in common besides our friendship with you, anyways. He didn’t take my decision well. Then I spent the last six weeks trying to figure out my feelings for you.”

Harry didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept quiet. The two teens sat in awkward silence for several moments.

“Harry…I…we should talk about what you told me right after the battle.”

Harry looked down at his feet. He didn’t really feel like talking about his feelings again. He’d said his piece. There wasn’t really much more to say. He was in love with her. She didn’t feel the same way. Talking about it would only hurt him more, so he didn’t really see the point. Maybe they could still be friends, but he wasn’t going to keep digging at the scab just to satisfy Hermione’s curiosity.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, Hermione. There’s nothing to say, not really.”

Hermione scowled. “Fine. I’ll talk.” Harry looked up at her. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I had a crush on you for all of third and fourth year, but all you did was chase after Cho Chang’s arse like it was the best thing since sliced bread. So I decided to move on. Ron might not have been the best choice, but he was a choice. I don’t understand why you just didn’t tell me what you were feeling if you really felt that way for so long.”

Harry could tell that Hermione was frustrated. Her hair always got more frizzy when she got frustrated or angry.

“Hermione, it doesn’t matter. I should have never told you in the first place. It was obvious that you didn’t return my feelings. I’m sorry that I told you.”

“You don’t understand, Harry. I’m in love with you too. Don’t you get it? I tried to move on, and maybe I did have feelings for Ronald, but it’s always been you for me too.”

Harry’s jaw dropped. “What did you say?”

“I’m in love with you too, you idiot. If you had only told me, we could have been together for years.”

-:::-

My Mona Lisas making me smile

Right before my eyes

 

Take another look

Take a look around

It’s you and me

Its here and now

As you sparkle in the sky

I’ll catch you while I can

‘Cause all we are

Is all I am

I just want you to see

What I’ve always believed

You are

The miracle in me

-:::-

His life changed completely after that. He went with Hermione to Australia, where they truly became a couple. By the time they returned with the highly annoyed Granger parents, they were firmly entrenched in a relationship that they both knew would last forever. They married just a year later.

The years passed and they lived their lives. They had the ups and downs like every couple, but Harry would truthfully say that every single day he was happier than the last simply because they were together and in love.

Harry and Hermione had three lovely children, two girls, and a boy. Harry loved watching his wife play with their children as they grew up. She was such a wonderful mother. He enjoyed every single moment he had with his family, They were his miracle, and he would cherish them always.

-:::-

These are the moments

That you can’t pass by

Let’s turn the water to wine

One more time

 

Take another look

Take a look around

It’s you and me

Its here and now

As you sparkle in the sky

I’ll catch you while I can

‘Cause all we are

Is all I am

I just want you to see

What I’ve always believed

You are

The miracle in me

The miracle in me

You’re the miracle in me

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